I have a confession....
Updated: Apr 20, 2020
I have a confession.
I’m in an amazing relationship with the love of my life,
but I’m lonely.
I’m lonely because though I consider him my best friend, I do get angry at him. And when that happens I have no one to sit there and listen to me vent.
I’m lonely because very few of the people that I considered my friends in my early twenties have made it to my life post-baby.
I’m lonely because my nights on the town have been replaced with bath time, boob time, and hopefully, bedtime for the little one. Then, maybe, I’ll have a glass of wine and maybe an episode of _______…..if I can keep my eyes open.
I’m lonely because we are “friends” on Facebook, live in the same town, and actually interact quite frequently but I haven’t seen you in God knows how long.
I’m lonely because no one prepared me for the changes that motherhood has brought upon my body, my mind, my soul, and last but certainly not least, my priorities.
I’m lonely because I didn’t recognize how precious my friendships were. And despite every good intention to keep a friendship thriving, intentions are nothing without action.
I’m lonely because I see women in my books, on television and in movies with these dynamic friendships where they constantly go above and beyond for the other, make time to see each other, check in consistently, and lift each other up when they are down. And I want to have more friendships like that. I need it. It has become absolutely essential.
I know the prevailing thought on this is, “Real friends are the ones you can call after months and you pick up where you left off”...we’ve all seen that infographic on facebook. But I’m calling bullshit. That’s a therapist, not a friend.
We make time for the things that we want to do. Have you binged the latest Netflix show yet? How about, wasted an afternoon lounging around on the couch with your phone? Spent two hours at Target when you just had to pick up a couple things? All of those activities can be done with a friend too, or at least extend the invitation. Your real friends don’t need to be entertained by you; they just wanna see your face.
I struggled whether or not I wanted to write this, but a good friend (I do have a couple friends I consider real and true) told me she would want to read it. So I’m writing this for me and for her, and if there is anyone else out there who is quietly lonely...I’m writing this for you too. It’s not just you, you are not alone, I am lonely too. I am bursting at the seams, screaming inside, with everything in my being telling me that what I need most is real, true friendships with other women. It says my life would be so much more fulfilled if I was surrounded by a tribe of powerful women. Because at the end of the day, being alone sucks and we need each other.